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  • Apr 01, 2012
  • 07:35 PM

Student swallows tongue in Arabic attempt

Franklin, New York - Lindsay Martin, 16, was rushed to the hospital Sunday after reportedly swallowing her tongue during Arabic class at Franklin High School.

Franklin is one of few high schools in the US that teach Arabic. "The language is known for its range of difficult-to-pronounce guttural consonants," said teacher Jafar Moffatopolis, "but I've never seen this before."

Students reported Martin, a first-year Arabic student, was giving a presentation to her class on the topic of "Recycling and environmental consciousness in Yemen" when she began to choke and lose her balance. Students attempted to unblock her throat but her retracted tongue had become lodged and would not budge. An ambulance was immediately called.

According to Dr. Richard Goldstein, "Arabic pronunciation requires the use of muscles that English speakers would otherwise use only when vomiting. Unfortunately, choking is a risk for learners."

Martin was reported to be in stable condition and is expected to be released from the hospital tomorrow. It is not known if she intends to return to Arabic study. She had been trying to improve her pronunciation lately.

Is there any advice for other learners to avoid a similar medical emergency? Goldstein: "There are Indian breathing exercises that I would recommend, as well as daily massages of the throat area. Or, simply learn a different language. Is the risk really worth it?"

The preceding has been a work of satire. APRIL FOOLS!

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