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  • Apr 01, 2012
  • 09:21 PM

Egypt announces: Hieroglyphics to replace Arabic script

CAIRO, EGPYT: In a surprise announcement, Egypt's interim government has proclaimed that after over 1000 years of writing in Arabic, the country will return to its former hieroglyphic script.

According to sources close to leader Mohamed Hussein Tantawi, the declaration was made during this period of tumult and religious extremism in order to "unite the country and get back to our roots."

Reading hieroglyphics today is a difficult task attempted by only the most dedicated scholars, and the plan would require a complete overhaul of Egypt's education system, media, and publishing houses.

The Egyptian public seems to be divided on the change. According to one resident of Cairo, identified only as Abdul, "Hieroglyphics are our heritage and will help bring peace to the region, by enabling us to become a stronger nation, culturally and militarily."

However, according to a woman interviewed in Tahrir Square, "This change is unacceptable. For years my husband struggled just to make sense of written Arabic. Now he has to start learning all over again?"

Some of the country's more militant Islamic groups have also blasted the idea, declaring it an insult to Islam, and moreover too difficult. "Perhaps if it were easier," sighed one cleric, "but as it stands, it feels like another Western plot."

The preceding has been a work of satire. APRIL FOOLS!

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